Kelly Clarkson: Teaching Us That Even If Life Sucks When He's Here, It Will Be Worse When He's Gone

The other day I heard Kelly Clarkson’s new song “My Life Would Suck Without You,” this song is about her unhappy relationship with her boyfriend and how terrible her life would be if he was gone. Throughout the video she and her boyfriend are constantly fighting, even throwing each others possessions out the window of their apartment; and yet she is singing about how her life would suck if they weren’t dating. This song and video teach Clarkson’s fans that, no matter how much you argue, you should stay with your partner because, without them, life would suck.

With this song, Kelly Clarkson seems to be arguing that unhappy relationships are always better then no relationship at all. At one point she even sings that “being with you/is so dysfunctional/I really shouldn't miss you/but I can’t let you go.” So, even though she knows that this isn’t a good, healthy relationship, she wants to stay with him. She even sings about when he left and how he said “how much [he] wanted/anyone but [her]/said [he’d] never come back.” To me, this line demonstrates their toxic relationship perfectly. He attempts to hurt her by saying he wants anyone but her, and the moment he comes back to her she welcomes him with open arms. This relationship is a terrible model to be showing to people. By singing this, Kelly Clarkson is romanticizing unhappy, and maybe even verbally abusive, relationships.

In the song Kelly Clarkson seems to be blaming herself for her boyfriend breaking up with her, as she sings: “maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye /maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight.” Throughout the song she never blames him, in fact when he shows up at her door to get her back he never even has to apologize to her; she automatically assumes that he is there to apologize and she takes him back immediately. This idea that women should always forgive their boyfriend, and blame themselves after a break up, is not a good example to give people. It teaches her fans that, if their boyfriend makes a mistake, it’s the woman’s job to welcome him back happily. This mentality can be especially dangerous if women in abusive relationships listen to it.

Of course Kelly doesn’t write most of her music, in fact, this song was written by Max Martin and Dr. Luke. They are the ones trying to sell the idea that even an unhappy relationship is better then being alone; and they are the one’s teaching people that if a man is sorry for his actions, his girlfriend should forgive him. It is interesting to notice that men wrote this song about a woman’s complete reliance on her boyfriend to keep her happy. These two men are continuing the ideas that a woman should always be defined by, and constantly depend on, her man; even in the 21st century men are still trying to sell the ideals of the “perfect” relationship in which the man is at the center of the woman’s life.

(If you want to see the lyrics, they are here.)