Kelly Clarkson: Teaching Us That Even If Life Sucks When He's Here, It Will Be Worse When He's Gone

The other day I heard Kelly Clarkson’s new song “My Life Would Suck Without You,” this song is about her unhappy relationship with her boyfriend and how terrible her life would be if he was gone. Throughout the video she and her boyfriend are constantly fighting, even throwing each others possessions out the window of their apartment; and yet she is singing about how her life would suck if they weren’t dating. This song and video teach Clarkson’s fans that, no matter how much you argue, you should stay with your partner because, without them, life would suck.

With this song, Kelly Clarkson seems to be arguing that unhappy relationships are always better then no relationship at all. At one point she even sings that “being with you/is so dysfunctional/I really shouldn't miss you/but I can’t let you go.” So, even though she knows that this isn’t a good, healthy relationship, she wants to stay with him. She even sings about when he left and how he said “how much [he] wanted/anyone but [her]/said [he’d] never come back.” To me, this line demonstrates their toxic relationship perfectly. He attempts to hurt her by saying he wants anyone but her, and the moment he comes back to her she welcomes him with open arms. This relationship is a terrible model to be showing to people. By singing this, Kelly Clarkson is romanticizing unhappy, and maybe even verbally abusive, relationships.

In the song Kelly Clarkson seems to be blaming herself for her boyfriend breaking up with her, as she sings: “maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye /maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight.” Throughout the song she never blames him, in fact when he shows up at her door to get her back he never even has to apologize to her; she automatically assumes that he is there to apologize and she takes him back immediately. This idea that women should always forgive their boyfriend, and blame themselves after a break up, is not a good example to give people. It teaches her fans that, if their boyfriend makes a mistake, it’s the woman’s job to welcome him back happily. This mentality can be especially dangerous if women in abusive relationships listen to it.

Of course Kelly doesn’t write most of her music, in fact, this song was written by Max Martin and Dr. Luke. They are the ones trying to sell the idea that even an unhappy relationship is better then being alone; and they are the one’s teaching people that if a man is sorry for his actions, his girlfriend should forgive him. It is interesting to notice that men wrote this song about a woman’s complete reliance on her boyfriend to keep her happy. These two men are continuing the ideas that a woman should always be defined by, and constantly depend on, her man; even in the 21st century men are still trying to sell the ideals of the “perfect” relationship in which the man is at the center of the woman’s life.

(If you want to see the lyrics, they are here.)

She Kissed a Girl, But Don't Worry, She's Still Straight.

I have been hearing about Katy Perry's music for awhile now, specifically her song "I Kissed a Girl." I had never heard this song before and I was curious, so I checked it out. After hearing it, I was a little surprised at all the attention. Sure, it’s about two girls making out, but this just felt like she was trying to get attention . She didn’t seem to be questioning her sexuality (in fact, throughout the song, you never doubt that she’s straight), or attempting to bring bisexuality into the light. She was just singing about kissing a girl, and that doesn’t seem too controversial to me (after all, its not like its never been sung about before).

What is controversial, in my mind, is the fact that, according to this song sexuality is something that girls might experiment with, but it isn’t long-term; it’ll wear off once the alcohol is out of her system. She even sings “You're my experimental game/Just human nature.” This idea of homosexuality as being fleeting might be easy for some people to swallow, but to me it just seems like another way for homophobes to place the GLBT community in a small box and then forget about them.

Throughout the video Katy is surrounded by beautiful women dressed in sexy lingerie, lounging around her as she sings coyly to the camera. The video shows her as sexy, and the fact that she kissed a girl (and that she liked it) shows that she’s experimental, which gives her an edge. This idea that being gay or bisexual automatically makes you promiscuous and different (edgy, whereas straight people are normal and maybe boring) can be harmful. It shows that all gay people are only up for quick one night stands and making out with random people at parties, at one point she even sings “I don't even know your name/It doesn't matter,” which just backs up many peoples stereotypical views of homosexuals. It gives those people the perfect stereotype to swallow; it gives them one more way to put homosexuals into a category far separated from themselves. And at the end of the video Katy wakes up in bed with her boyfriend. They are sleeping in a completely non-sexual way; they are facing each other but they are completely separated, they aren’t even touching. This shows that while homosexuals are sex-crazed, straight couples are able to control their urges and we don’t need to worry about them being promiscuous.

Throughout the song Katy constantly sings the refrain “I kissed a girl just to try it/ I hope my boyfriend don’t mind,” this constant reminder that she has a boyfriend assures her listeners that, although she might have kissed a girl, there’s no need to worry, she’s still straight. No one needs to doubt her sexuality, as she makes sure to remind us as much as possible that she’s perfectly straight.

The All American Rejects: Upholding Gender Stereotypes.

While driving home from school recently, I heard the song "Gives You Hell" by The All American Rejects. I had heard the song before, but I'd never paid attention to the lyrics. When I got home I was curious about the song so I looked up the lyrics and watched the music video. Listening to the song and watching the video give you two different ideas of what the song is about. Listening to the song, it sounds like he’s singing about a girl who dumped him, and how he is so happy that her life isn't what she wanted it to be. But in the video you get the impression that he is singing about his other, "good" half and that he and his good half are constantly fighting and don't like each other. Both of these interpretations are problematic: if you listen to the lyrics, it leads you to believe that, should your girlfriend break up with you, then she doesn't deserve to be happy; and if you watch the video its teaching you that the "bad" half is always more preferable to the "good" half.
If you read the lyrics to the song, its obvious that the singer was hurt that his girlfriend broke up with him, but now that he knows that she doesn’t have what she always wanted, he’s happy again. He seems confident that now that she has had time to realize that she won’t ever get what she wants, she will finally regret leaving him. The All American Rejects seem to be showing women as being heartless, materialistic (he sings about her wanting “that picket fence…and shiny car”), and if they ever dare to break up with their boyfriend then they don’t deserve to be happy or get what they want. They say “When you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well/Then he's a fool, you're just as well/Hope it gives you hell,” basically saying that this woman doesn’t deserve the kind of man that can see who she truly is; after what she did to him, she only deserves someone who won’t be able to really understand her.
In the music video for this song, the All American Rejects show both men and women as only having two types. Men are always either the hardcore rocker who sleeps all day, lives in a dirty house, never cleans, and wakes up with a beautiful woman in his bed with him; or they are goody-goodies who sleep in a separate bed from their significant other (throughout the video its hard to tell whether they are married or dating), lead boring lives (shown cleaning his car and spending his night playing Operation), and live in a completely clean and sterile house. Whereas women are shown as either being the punk girlfriend of the rock star (she is disheveled, mainly shown in bed with her boyfriend, and the first time you see her she is in a short red bathrobe with her naked boyfriend), or the stiff significant other of the clean-cut man (she is immaculate, blonde, sleeps in a separate bed from her significant other, and is forced to try and control him). These two different types of men and women show the narrow views of both genders that our society believes in. Men can either only be a hardcore rock star or a clean-cut, upper-class, white man; while women can only be a girlfriend to a rock star or the wife of the upper-class white man.